Toddler Sleep Help: How a Sleep Coach Can Help Your Toddler Sleep Better
As with everything having to do with children, as soon as parents think they have one phase figured out, everything changes. You’re finally in a good routine with bottles? Now it’s time to introduce solids. The house is babyproofed for crawling? Now they’re walking.
The same is true for sleep.
We regularly meet with parents whose babies were fabulous sleepers—until something shifts during toddlerhood and suddenly throws everything for a loop. Everywhere parents look, there’s information about how to get your baby sleeping through the night, but what about those toddlers who can walk, talk, climb, and tell you exactly why they don’t want to go to bed?
That’s where we come in.
Why Is Sleep Important for Toddlers?
Toddlerhood is a time of rapid change and development. Any toddler parent knows this! Your baby is learning to walk, talk, play, explore, communicate, and create. All of these new skills mean their growing bodies and brains need adequate rest, too.
During sleep, toddlers grow, consolidate memories and new skills, and process their busy days. In the same way you wouldn’t perform your best at work if you were waking up multiple times throughout the night, your toddler won’t be at their best either. Adequate sleep can help support their ability to regulate emotions, play well with others, learn new skills, and take in the endless amount of new information they encounter every day.
How Much Sleep Does a Toddler Need?
From babyhood through the toddler years, the amount of nighttime sleep children need stays relatively consistent. By around age 5 or 6, some children may be perfectly happy with 10 hours of nighttime sleep, but during the toddler and preschool years, we generally aim for about 11–12 hours of consolidated nighttime sleep.
What changes more significantly is the amount of daytime sleep your toddler needs.
At around 18 months, a 2–3 hour nap is appropriate. As your child gets older, however, you may need to adjust or cap their nap if you’re noticing bedtime getting pushed later and later.
As with everything related to children, though, there is a wide range of “normal.” Some 3-year-olds are perfectly happy with a 2.5-hour nap, while others may need their nap capped closer to an hour. The most important thing is to pay attention to your individual child’s sleep needs, behavior, and overall schedule.
Common Toddler Sleep Problems
As you enter toddlerhood, the types of sleep challenges families experience can change drastically. You’re no longer dealing with night feeds, dropping the swaddle, or losing a pacifier. Instead, toddler parents often find themselves dealing with:
Stalling: One more book, another snack, a drink of water, five more minutes of cuddles, etc.
Climbing out of the crib
Following parents out of the room
Yelling and calling for parents throughout the night
Needing a parent to lie with them until they fall asleep
Unwanted co-sleeping out of desperation
And while these challenges can feel very different from the sleep struggles of infancy, they often have one thing in common: your toddler has discovered that they have a lot more control over what happens at bedtime.
If you’re nodding along while reading this, remembering your own bedtime battle last night, we created My Sleep Teacher for you. My Sleep Teacher is an interactive support tool designed to give parents the personalized plan and 24/7 guidance they need to teach their toddler to fall asleep independently and sleep through the night.
If you’re ready to take your nights back, meet My Sleep Teacher.
Boundaries and Toddler Sleep
In some ways, toddler and preschool sleep can actually be much more straightforward than baby sleep. You’re no longer counting calories during the day, wondering if they’ve had enough to eat, or trying to figure out whether they spit up because they ate too much.
But new challenges get thrown into the mix.
If they’re out of the crib, they can follow you. If they can talk, they can ask for one more story. And if they know exactly how to pull at your heartstrings, they will!
The key to toddler sleep is boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
Decide what you want bedtime to look like and hold your toddler to that standard. If you want to read three books and then turn out the lights, don’t be swayed into adding a fourth. If you no longer want to lie with your toddler until they fall asleep, then once the bedtime routine is over, it’s time for you to leave.
This doesn’t mean you have to be cold or disconnected. You can acknowledge their feelings, offer reassurance, and still hold the boundary.
In the same way you have to mean what you say when it’s time to leave the park, the same rule applies to sleep. Toddlers thrive on consistency, and clear expectations can make bedtime much more predictable for everyone.
Expectation Setting
Toddlers will ALWAYS do better with change when they’re prepared. In the classroom we learned to set expectations for field trips, assemblies, and substitutes. The same logic applies to your two-year-old transitioning to a toddler bed or a three-year-old who will no longer be co-sleeping.
Before implementing any changes around sleep, sit with your child and explain what will be different and why. They’ll surprise you with what they can comprehend. Explaining how important sleep is to help them grow, learn, and be healthy will go a long way.
To set expectations in playful ways they can understand, we love:
Role play
Reading stories that model good bedtime behavior
Utilizing grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. to hype them up
Constant positive praise each time an expectation is met
Information Alone Is Not Enough
Reading all the blogs and books is great. Talking with friends about what worked with their kids is helpful. But none of that is a substitute for guidance created specifically for your child and family. You know better than anyone that your child is unique, and no book can account for their personality.
In the same way a trainer makes a difference at the gym and a therapist can do wonders for your mental health, working with a toddler sleep professional can make all the difference. You can read every book, but when they’re in your bed again at 2 a.m. or going on day three of no nap, you need an expert you can talk to. That’s where we come in, and exactly why we created My Sleep Teacher.
If bedtime battles, night wakings, early mornings, or nap struggles have become part of your daily routine, you don’t have to piece together toddler sleep advice on your own.
My Sleep Teacher gives families personalized toddler sleep support for children ages 18 months–6 years, including a plan built around your child, day-by-day guidance, and support when things don’t go according to plan.
Check out My Sleep Teacher for our virtual toddler sleep support tool, or visit our website to schedule a free consultation and learn more about how we can help your family reach your sleep goals
Toddler Sleep FAQ
Why is my toddler suddenly not sleeping?
When a previously great sleeper is suddenly struggling there are a few things we look at. What is their total sleep in 24 hours? It may be time to cap or drop the nap.
Are they falling asleep independently at bedtime? If they fall asleep with a parent they’ll look for the same support.
How are parents responding when they wake? If they get to co-sleep, get a bottle, etc. when they wake, they’ll continue waking for that reinforcement.
How do I get my toddler sleeping through the night?
Always look at bedtime first. They have to fall asleep independently to sleep independently all night.
How long should a toddler sleep at night?
Sleep needs vary by child and age, and total sleep across a 24-hour period is more important than hitting one exact number overnight. During the toddler and preschool years, some children will get more of their total sleep overnight, while others still need a substantial daytime nap.
What do I do if my toddler keeps getting out of bed?
Toddlers will continue getting up if it gets them the reaction/reward they want. If you want them sleeping all night in their bed, you must return them to their bed.
Can a sleep consultant help with toddler sleep?
A sleep consultant creates a plan personalized for your child. We answer all your questions, adjust the plan as needed.
Is sleep training appropriate for toddlers?
Absolutely. Toddler sleep is all about behavior, and because of that is so much more complicated than infant sleep. Through toddler sleep training they learn the skills and gain the confidence to fall asleep independently and sleep through the night.
Check out My Sleep Teacher for our virtual toddler sleep support tool, or visit our website to schedule a free consultation and learn more about how we can help your family reach your sleep goals.
