Balancing Sleep Training with a Busy Family Schedule

As a second-time mom, I thought I had sleep training completely figured out. With my first, I was by-the-book, meticulous, and rigid—every nap, every bedtime, every wake-up followed like clockwork. It worked beautifully, and I felt confident that I could do it again with my son, not only because I had done it with my daughter but since then, I had made a career out of it. But this time around, with a newborn and a 3 year old at home, I quickly realized that things would have to go differently to be successful this time. 

Life with a preschooler is… well, life. Between ballet, swim lessons, birthday parties, playdates, and errands, our days are constantly packed. And the last six months have been a whirlwind of travel too—family trips to Indiana, relaxing days at the New Jersey beaches, a wedding in Rhode Island, another in Florida, and even a Hilton Head getaway for my mother-in-law’s retirement. Through all of that movement and change, I’m proud to say we still kept sleep strong and consistent.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve always preached is that sleep training doesn’t have to be perfect to be effective. With my second, I focused on consistency around the essentials—a calming bedtime routine, a predictable sleep environment, and gentle methods to encourage independent sleep—but I allowed wiggle room for life’s unpredictability. Some nights, bedtime happens a little later because we had a family dinner or an event. Some days, naps are slightly shorter because of morning commitments. And that’s okay. The key is knowing which parts of the schedule are non-negotiable versus what can bend with the day.

I’ve also learned that planning ahead is crucial. On days when we know we have extra activities, I adjust nap timing slightly so that my baby isn’t overtired for the evening. I use cues from my baby’s sleepiness rather than rigid clocks—sometimes a 6:30 bedtime is perfect, sometimes 7:15 works better after a busy afternoon.

Another game-changer has been involving my older child in the routine when possible. Little helpers who understand “quiet time” or “sleep time” can make a chaotic day feel smoother. And let’s be honest—life is more fun when we don’t stress over perfection.

Ultimately, balancing sleep training with a busy family schedule is about finding that sweet spot between consistency and flexibility. With my second, I’ve learned to let go of the strict, by-the-book approach and embrace a more adaptable mindset. My baby still sleeps well, my older child thrives, and I feel a little less like a sleep-stricken taskmaster and a little more like a mom who’s managing life, love, and sleep with grace.

Sleep training doesn’t have to be rigid to work—it just has to work for your family. And honestly? That’s exactly what second-time motherhood is teaching me.